Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said, "I'll give you shelter from the storm."
Thinking back to Friday, I realized we probably should have put out an invite to all the other displaced SouthernXrossmonauts and had everyone meet in Clayetteville for SouthernUnCrossed. Hindsight being 20/4o I'll just share what you missed and you can pretend you were there (might as well since Clay will be sending invoices out to all anyway, kids' gotta eat).
Consummate recyclers.
It all started early Saturday morning. The flurries had continued throughout the night and most of the day Saturday. Some was sticking, but most just disappeared, yet the feeling of living inside a snow globe was ever present throughout the day. Adam and I headed over to gRant's tomb to pick him up and found the family out enjoying the winter wonderland.
Can somebody get me an Apple box please?
Ralphie, I can't put my arms down!
Tearing gRant away from his family, we made it inside to haul his gear out for him. It took three of us since we were going to be gone for a whole night. A brief tour of the home for Adam and a glimpse of gRant's handy work. I'm going to hire him to concrete my whole cabin, if and when I ever get one. Er, Barn, I mean barn. (Barn first, right H.?)
gRantmade concrete counter tops
Also oogled his new MRP 1x9 setup
Beer and Bikes. Perfect payload.
Bikes, beer, and gear loaded we headed out for the wonderful town of Clayetteville, where Mayor of Clayetteville Clay was anxiously awaiting our arrival. Clayetteville is the home of DSG, future home of Dirt, Sweat, and Patio Set, as well as a small sovereign colony of Canardia (20x40, 40x20) in a field.
Damn you slaw burger!One benefit of hanging out in Clayetteville with Mayor Clay is that there is a tab running in every shop. We ate our fill of slaw burgers and fries at Honey's on the square (rumored to be mob owned - notice the secret speakeasy entrance). This fortuitous stop would provide us the gas (literally) to complete SouthernUnCrossed.
When we arrived to the Mayor's palace, we were immediately greeted by the court jesters.
Tubeless, Schmoobless. The ride started off with a descent down the poop chute to the start of the backassward course. Halfway down the first mechanical is a tubeless wheel going flat and not sealing up. 12 degrees and tubeless not so chummy. No snide remarks about the fallacy of hype by change for change sake because not 400 yards later a tubed rider was taken out by a giant thorned stick that was pointed out by not 1 but by 3 riders ahead of him. "Thorn! Stay right!" was shouted as each rider passed only to hear a "Doh!" coming from the rear.
"Hey what do you expect, this is the first time it's been off-road"To his credit (no excuses for the assman), gRant was out riding on his cross setup, scrawny tires and itty bitty tubes. Still that would only be useful excuse if he flatted on the rocks (which he did hours later and had to trail run out), since this was open field and a pre-warned about hazard, there really isn't any excuse.
Reefed on tightly.Luckily, SouthernUnCrossed had a sag dog. Similar to the famed rescue St. Bernard's of Switzerland, S.U.C. had Labrador re-tuber Buddy on hand to offer a helping paw.
Rarer than Sasquatch, a gRant riding in the woods.
I hear dripping, we'll have water tonight!A second flat for Steve, several chain drops for Adam, and gRant's hour long tube change had us running low on daylight. I spied a cavern of ice to shelter in for the night. Sounds of running water came from inside the cave, so we'd be able to survive the wilderness for the night. That is until the bears returned. Luckily I was able to fix Adam's chain dropping issue and the assman headed to the house to fix his flat so we were able to continue our ride. Mayor Clay also pointed out we were only 1/2 mile from the house.
Crunchy.A second attempt at the climb up to middle road. The first attempt was a textbook example of how not to pick a line. The second attempt had all the right moves and just enough umfph to get to the top. The deep frozen crunchy leaves made the trail feel like riding in deep wet sand. A little extra resistance doesn't hurt when building off season base fitness.
Adam two umfphs shortAdam joined me on trying a second shot at the climb and almost joined me at the top of it. Sadly he was two umfphs shy of victory. Not that anyone is keeping score or anything. (But technically he didn't make it).
The infamous Fish Rock just past Hennessey Gulch.
Each area of trail was completely different. The stretch here was buff, dry, and snowless. The deep frozen bed of leaves absent from the trail and the trail bed felt as fast as concrete.
Adam coming around into the switchback.
The rocks lay in wait ahead.
Adam rocks the rocks.
Clay, not so much.
And StevilKenevil not at all (he went around).
Next up, the trail runs through the peat bogs of Ireland.
"Hey Adam, Smile."
Onward and upward. Clay chases gRant.The old beginning of the trail is now the new end of the trail and the temps felt 10 degrees colder, leaves 10% deeper, and slogging through the deep leaves up the hills was 10% harder. The good news was that several new sections of singletrack were awaiting us. Gone is the 3 sisters road climb. Replacing it is some trick new swoopy singletrack, which in the reverse direction (aka the new forward) is the bomb. A little more buffing out of the final 15 yards or so of one section and it's going to be one of the spots where you begin to think "hey this rocks, maybe I will head out for another lap". Which will be good because other parts before this will have you thinking "why the hell am I out here?**"
** fear not, plans are in the works to re-route some of those sections with sweet new singletrack runs. Less forest road and more singletrack, that's DSG 2010.
I got my spine I've got my Orange Slush
After 3 1/2 hours out in the 12 degree weather, my bottle started to ice up. Luckily we were about a half mile from the field with only the poop chute (SSUSA #1) climb left to go.
We finished the day as the sun was setting over Clayetteville.
Worn out, smiling, and chilled it was time to defrost by the fire and reload with the fermented nectar of the gods.
Lucy the photographer snapped this shot of me and Mable the puppy.
Here she is chillaxin', I think it was all the Sue beer she licked off the floor and my leg.
Lucy and the gang playing Luck of the Draw. 
Las Vegas was the word. Guess which drawing was mine.
Jambalaya for dinner by the fire with the extended family. It doesn't get much better.
Clay and Adam trying to capture a more Johnny version of the Sue.
Hey Linus, little Lucy has some new label design ideas for you.
I think I owe someone a dollar.
The kids went to bed before the adults, then the less childish adults followed with us more childish kids finally heading up late in the evening. A scroll was discovered tucked into the bed by gRant. It contained 2 chocolate truffles with a note reading: One Dollar for Z Chocolate, Mr. Thad. Actual text: 1 Dolru for Z.choklits msr. thad"
think this'll stay with this flat like this?
After a Mable alarm clock, we got up and enjoyed breakfast with the Mayor and his family before they headed off to indoor soccer. We were going to ride. Scratch that. I wanted to ride before we left but the other two thought 10 degrees was too cold. Pansies (ironically pretty hearty flowers). So we packed up and headed out after trying a few things to show our appreciation to the Mayor and his family. We emptied the dish washer and to the best of our knowledge everything is put where it should be. If you're missing anything feel free to call us Clay and we can guide you to the appropriate cabinet, closet, or backyard hole. We also restocked the firewood and put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
Once home I couldn't pass up riding on this rare sunny and balmy 26 degree day, so I suited up and headed out to the back trails with the pups. After the past few days it felt really warm, but once I got in the shade of the hills I was reminded that 26 is still cold. Charging through the deep frozen leaf cover, I was able to keep warm, and the pups and I enjoyed several hours out in the woods. Despite having to drive to Clayetteville, I was really spoiled in having 2 days of riding where technically I never left the yard. There is something nice about finishing a ride and being home. Even if home is Clay's. What am I saying, ESPECIALLY if home is Clay's!
JD and his skull. Tasty.
Frozen lake.
The lake is frozen. I figured it would have a thin layer of ice on it, but it's several inches deep. Thick enough to support 2 Catahoulas, me, and a bike. We explored the whole lake until we got to the still running creek that feeds it and Dish went through the ice. Luckily it was in the shallow creek area, but it was deep with mud and he was struggling with only 1 rear leg. I ran over to pull him out and my left leg sunk in to my knee. Water filling my shoes and soaking my socks. Cold water. Damn cold. Catastrophe avoided we headed back to the house, only to hear another crash as JD fell through a thin layer of ice over the creek. I think he just felt left out.
A weekend was saved thanks to the kind warm hearted people of Clayetteville. Thanks Clay, Amy, Hunter, and Lucy for inviting us into your home and entertaining us. As always you all went way out of the way for us. Thanks to Adam, gRant, Clay, and Steve for agreeing to ride in the freezing cold it was one of the best rides I've had in a long time.
Oh, and Clay no worries, we got the cat out with minimal damage. Edit: Now with easier commenting and more photos! (or linked photos that is... stupid Google upload tool.)
