The High Cost of Fine Art

The missing Mis-bits ordeal has finally been put to bed. Peter really did ship out the order in a prompt and timely manner, the problem came at the border. See, Canandia suffers from a lack of art. An eager to move up the ranks oraficial at the border noticed the scrawling on the packaging and determined the box to be "fine art" and a "national treasure", declaring it unable to exit the country.

Immediately, the news crew (I guess there's only one news channel and SCTV available in Candandia) showed up, took some beta (they're too good for vhs) and the box then went on a whirlwind tour of Candadndania's fine art gallery.

Calls, pleas, and heated words were exchanged. Even a botched black hawk mission attempted, but they would not relinquish their "gem". Finally I was able to get a hold of someone who spoke sanity and I was able to convince them that the package was not indeed fine art, but just mere run-of-the-mill stickers and sharpie marker scribbling that any 3 year old or bike messenger could achieve. They saw the light and released the package into my custody on the grounds that I never reveal the details of the box fiasco for fear of further ruining the fine art reputation of Candandania. But, since I'm on this side of the border (and honestly who goes to Cannannadana?) I feel safe divulging the truth to the 4 Americans, 1 Czech, a Spaniard, and a few from Georgia/Alabama area that read this.

I haven't had time to install the bars yet, but I will get to it shortly and snap some compare / contrast photos for people like OldGreg. However, if you've never ordered anything from Misfit Psycles before, do yourself a favor and at least order a bar, t-shirt, or a cod cog. The packaging, both inside the box and out, is worth the wait.

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:


I didn't snap any detail photos of the Catalog or of the business card, but I must say that they are two of the most avant-creative designed items I've seen in a long time (and I'm a lifelong Sonic Youth fan so that makes me a near expert). Amazing such freshness can come out of such a cliche artist/whore like Peetur.

The detail, the humor, the art work....


The immense focus and attention to detail is purely awe inspiring.

Ahhh....

A Real Hard Case

Several of the Yazoo crew members met up at Monkey Bell Friday for a get together ride Friday after the holiday. Pills and Jut were back in the area and the boro boys even made it into town. The plan was a group ride in the dirt, then work on the biceps by lifting pints at the Tap Room. The "friendly" pace provided a good time, despite me suffering from 3 flats (one was in my spare that's been in my bag for a year). Doh!

Nailed

Or you may have seen it here (damn paparazzi)

The group post ride

Enjoying some Wassail, Hop Project #9, and a Hefe

Ivory, proprietor of Whiskey Racing

Best Wrapped X-mas gift Award goes to my EMIL (Evil Mother-In-Law)

Sneaky, hidden behind her wreath the whole time

Installed (faster than a Misbit delivery)

Gifts from Slumlord Joe:
New Brewmaster's Special from Yazoo and a Seasonal from Boulevard Brewing

Oh, I got a Spot from H. and her parents. No not a Spot, a Spot. Soon you'll be able to track my every move via Google Maps and Google Earth (opening a whole new level of internet stalking, eh Caitlin?). I've had one ride with it so far, I'll post a "how it's working for me" post after I play with it a bit more. So far it's fun, easy to setup and use, and the 911 feature is reassuring, especially when I rarely ever have cell service.

Who put the Lemming in my Tea?

What is it about the Holidays that make people do such irrationally idiotic things? Hennessey's blug has a link to some psycho with a chambered bullet in his 9 (with wife and child in his mini-van) aimed at a mother who was exiting her car in the parking lot. A parking spot is worth killing over? Really?

While enjoying a beer and bar-bq burger after a long ride with 8Ball we heard about 2 dads who shot each other at a Toys-R-Us over an argument their wives had about some toy. Seriously?

Well, the Holidays got to me too. Like John from Gainesville, I too am ashamed to admit that have a weak spot for the tiny miniman and his big ears. I officially became follower #3 of teamdicky.com today. It's a sad, sad, shameful day. Kids learn from my mistake. Be strong.

Even the blog is telling me to stop following.

Yesterday a friend pulled me out on a dirt ride. Actually he'd inquired about a ride on Monday but I was busy being stuck in the 'boro dealing with car issues. So we met up for a ride at Monkey Bell yesterday morning. Some others were supposed to be there, but again they were foiled by dry clean only skirts. So while they (as in them) sat and chatted on the phone like teenage girls discussing hair spray, moisturizing techniques, and the latest Brad Pitt rumors, JLNR and I got to enjoy the perfectly dry 23 miles of trail available at the Bell.

JLNR showed up sans Superfly with a Trek 69'er ss in tow. Sweet ride and very aesthetically pleasing against the brown leaf and pine needle covered backdrop of the Bell. I know certain folks think the 29" front wheel combined with a 26" rear wheel bike is retarded. For our local trails I personally think it's the best bike going. The 29'er front allows the typical local racer to just put the head down and hammer as big wheel plows over everything in it's path and offers massive traction in the hairpins, while the 26" rear allows for flickable maneuvers in the tight corners and lofting the front wheel is effortless. I don't recommend you ride that way else JLNR will inundate your ride with "not smooth" comments.

But I don't think a 69'er shines as much on other trails I've ridden (particularly the midwest) and I wouldn't use one on a gravel grinder or in a cross race like I do my 26'er. For me it would be a multi-lap USAC race bike only. Which seems to be precisely what Travis Brown and Trek designed it for, not as the 29'er replacement/challenger so many paranoids think it is. It also suffers from the same ailment most 29'ers have, too high of a front end. But, it does rip in the rocky, twisty, tight, steep singletrack we have in middle TN. It's also the sh*t on the pumptrack and in Pisgah. So, the moral of the story is: Don't be afraid to experiment based on what people (including me) say. Bikes are like vegetables, you never know what you'll like unless you try them all.

Happy Holidays everyone.


P.S. Have a Happy Boxing Day lil' P.

Hey Eli...

... I think The mothership has some competition. Race ya for pinks.

rollin' the loaner

Heading back from the EMIL (Evil Mother-In-Law)'s house last night, I noticed the temperature gauge was reading higher than what should be normal for a cold engine and 11 degrees F outside. Two miles later it's pointing up at H (the temp gauge H not H H.), it would then fall to halfway then go back up. Called Dad hoping he was working which he was, sweet, let me talk to Dave the wonder mechanic. Hmmm, stop driving? Not good? Will do more damage? Damn.

Back to the EMIL's then to the auto fixit place. If I show back up tomorrow afternoon and give them $800 bucks, my car should be fixed. I guess the car was feeling left out and wanted in on the X-mas action. I was really hoping they'd open the hood and find my missing Mis-bits (or at least a customs agent or mountie), thereby resolving both issues without a lot of expense or hassle, but unfortunately that only happens in the movies. I'm just not that lucky.

This whole car repair business sure was a little easier to bare when I had a paycheck. I can't complain though (well I can, but...) as there are a lot of others out there who have it much, much worse than I do. Take, for instance, this Eagles fan:


Apparently, this guy Andy was just out minding his own business talking to bluebirds and such, when a crazed black, ankle biting, yappy dog cornered him in the field. Her evil attic dwelling master then tied the poor guy to a 4x4 post inside of a fire pit ring and while holding a magnifying glass towards the low hanging winter Sun focused a beam upon him until he burst forth into flames.

photo unscrupulously lifted from Joe Maloney's FaceBook

Ya'd think the guy was Canadian or something. Rest in Ashes Mr Eagles guy.

Yeah, I don't have it so bad.

Headlight Go

About the only thing I got accomplished today was buying and replacing a blown headlight in the truck and downing a few fat tires surrounded by tires while hanging with Bryan, Sharpie, Hennessey, and the EastSide crew spreading holiday cheer. Then watching some Weird Science ("Who is this Gary character?") and some Yo Gabba Gabba (Check it out, they even have a Yo Blogga Blogga) back at Sharp's crib. Viv, being a toddler, is hip to the cool kids shows. None of that dull Dora for her. She's down with Yo Gabba Gabba for their old school video game segues and rockin' bands (Japanese punk bands, The Shins, Beat of the day with Biz Markie) and DJ Lance, who looks like he fell out of a Dee Lite video.

I leave you with images of pure joy: Running to Daddy after a bath and sharing a biscuit with Biscuit.


Late addition: At least one Hoffman got something worthwhile accomplished. Bat Chief Hoffman and the boys in action.

Flat-tastic!

KRS1 and Mean "Hans Rey of the Spin Bike" Fixie Joe picked me up at 10:30ish today to head to the tap room to meet OldGreg. Since the beer didn't start flowing until 4pm, we had some time to kill and decided to get a little soggy bottom boys ride in the cold drizzly wet weather. We met up with Airsaggo Cooper and Eastbound Jeff (the squish stayed in as his skirt apparently is dry clean only) at the entrance to Percy for a few laps.

Up the first climb we hear some sort of holler, more like a yelp, from behind and kind of slow (except for big ring cooper), but then we see one of the others coming and shrug it off to Canadians in the woods and motor on. At the top of 3 mile hill (3 miles later) we stop and wait on the others. Several minutes roll by and no sign. I call but get no answers. Hmmm... we roll backwards on the one way road searching for our friends fearing them dead or victims of wild Canadians. We were reminiscing on a near wreck that almost happened on the way over and the others were discussing how cool it was that you didn't have to worry about oncoming traffic. Just as we near the crest of a hill the 3 amigos come blazing downhill towards us. A-holes pucker, shrieks shracked, crisis averted (barely). Chuckling, we all continue on our roll. OldGreg had suffered a flat before the first climb from Meanjoe having touched the bike (it's a Meanjoe thang).

About 2 miles later, OldGreg being cheeky, cuts through a patch of grass and gets ahead of us on one of the turns, only to suffer another flat. Him out of tubes, me without a patch kit, Jeff offers up his only spare tube. An inordinate amount of time later, we're back on the bikes and trying to warm back up.


About 1.2 miles later, Meanjoe and I are cooking up a sweeping switchback turn and about to head down the other side when 'KA-BOOOM!!!' We both instinctively duck, it's not the first time I've been shot at, but wait, we're in Percy Warner Park, there's no hunting here. Damn, OldGreg's tube must have blown out. We turn around discussing what to do about the tube but then quickly realize it was way too loud to be a tube. The only time I've heard that loud of a boom is from a tubeless blowing off a rim and we're on the road...


KRS1 and his 50psi. (Let that be a lesson to you kids) We're now looking at about 1.5 hours to complete an 11 mile loop. Good thing we have some time to kill.

Patched up and rolling again, we finish the lap and the 6 mile second lap (Airsaggo had to be on his way back for work by 3) without incident. OldGreg even found his sunglasses that were accidentally left at the scene of the very first flat. Back through town via school and pre-rush hour traffic to the tap room (after a quick stop at 5 guys burgers) to enjoy their new Wassail and Hop Project #9 with friends (and frame-ous ones too).

Spruce Top

Thanks to OldGreg for the heads up, here's a little x-mas hint for those of you wondering what to get me for x-mas. One of the coolest t's ever, even cooler than Canandianian Toof-less Skullz.

I got an early birthday present today. H. bought me a new Nikon s210!!! Lanyard already installed. They have a newer betterer versioner out, but the form factor is biggerer and fatterer. Besides, the battery is fatterer too. This way I have an extra charger, battery, and memory card. I also have drop tested the crap out of the s210 and let me tell you, it's one tough camera.

Finished the gift shopping today too, but came away with one question: Where are all the Canadian products coming from? Canada?

Bilt makes water bottles, Misfit Psycles makes mis-bits and bikes, my JensonUSA order originated in Canada (shouldn't it be JensonCA? Edit: You mean Ontario, CA isn't Ontario, CA??? ). Though Jenson probably gets to keep the USA in the title because I actually got my package AND contact from them letting me know it's status as it traversed North America. Three days. Not too shabby for North of the border (or from California, meh.).

Bilt, however, hasn't even responded to my customer needs. They have my email and my phone number. Must be out skiing or something. Fred (from Oshawa) probably pawned my mis-bits off for Pomeranian mukluks.

All this trouble with Canandianins probably stems from my childhood. My family used to vacation North of Bemidji, MN (don'tch know) at a little lake cabin on one of the 10,000 lakes. One day we loaded up in the family truckster and headed into Canada via International Falls into Fort Frances, which really isn't Canada, it's more Disney Canada. Anyway, hundreds of doe eyed 'Merican tourists walked the streets, ignoring crosswalks and traffic. Hundreds doing this but who gets stopped? Me. Luckily the Gendarme let me off with a stern look and finger wagging.

As we headed back to the promised land, we got stopped by border agents and our van searched. My brother had gotten a Canadian quarter back as change (back when it was worth less than a quarter). He hid it in the ashtray in the back, fearing he would be in trouble for sneaking it back into the US (he was old enough to understand we were being searched, but young enough not to understand it was ok to have the quarter). As the guard searched our area of the van I said "Psst... the kids hiding a quarter." The agent immediately got the humor of the situation and played along. It was pretty funny. What wasn't funny was that we almost had to leave the 2 younger kids in Canada because we didn't have any ID for them, just family photos and those can be faked. Ah, Canada.

So, Canada, listen up. I'm sorry for walking of jay in your fine city of Fort Frances. Really. I'll not venture out across a street outside the safety of the white painted lines ever again. Bygones? Please may I have my packages now?