Llama Lost

DiscoDan leads Jeffy "the Duke", the Great Fondoadie, and gRant down Turkey Farm

Saturday, wet, cold, overcast with a cool wind perfect gravel grinding weather. Amazingly close to the 8am meet up time, all 9 of us were shortly on our way for a day out having fun in the wet clay. DiscoDan, Ruthie, Steven, and the Great Fondoadie were newbies to "the loop", as such we took it relatively easy on them and left the creek crossings for next time (due to time constraints more than the nice factor). It started out with me shelling half the group within sight of the parking lot, led up to a few hill top sprints and then the prized farm animal sprints. The Great Fondoadie pulled off the biggest win almost by accident. We were sprinting for a horse, kinda low on the animal sprint points ladder when the horse shied away to reveal a Llama hidden behind him. Jeremy claimed the sprint. Damn, I'm still kicking myself for not trying harder. The only thing that can really top the Llama sprint is the Alpaca sprint and we weren't going to be going down that road.

The Bison sprint

I tried to recover some pride and won the jackass sprint (naturally) and the Bison sprint (though that one is still in review). Fondoadie followed it up with a few more equine sprints, a couple cows, and some bridge sprints (he was geared). I got the long horn bull and the 3 buzzard death cloud (though that too is under review as we both closed our eyes as we passed through the noxious cloud, upon opening I was ahead) but Fondoadie got 30 cows in one fell swoop and the coveted ginny hen sprint. Securing the green jersey for the day.

Fall colors beginning to show

Reactions from the other newbies ranged from "are we going to keep this pace up all day?" to "I thought this was going to be a hard ride?"

This was all just the warm up, 15 miles of rolling back country old roads to the famed town of Fly Tennessee, home of Wilson Fly's Market and the only source of food/water on the loop. We made it to fly and half the group split for water/rations while the rest of us mozied our way up the 2.5 mile intro climb to "the loop". What used to be a nice gravel climb with a couple tough to keep traction switchbacks is now just a long slog up chip and tar. As was the long ginny hen stretch. We're slowly losing our gravel.

Steven up MannonSpew II Hill

Luckily the long climbs are still there and we began the elevation gaining (7100' ish for the 62ish miles) as we crawled our way out to the awaiting gravel roads. Traffic was scarce and we pretty much had all of the roads to ourselves. The temps weren't warming up but the rain was staying away, keeping us cool while grunting up the climbs.

Ruthie, followed by Adam Two Time, up MannonSpew II Hill

gRavel gRant

Finally, the gravel started, as did the stair step climbing up to the top of the ridge. The gravel had been recently graded last time we road the loop about a year ago. Luckily the ruts and rough descents had returned from all the rain and traffic. The clay was damp enough to make us all muddy but not too wet that it was a slog fest. Pretty much perfect actually. A nice balance of being able to let it all hang out on the descents but still drift some when you take it too hard.

one of the regulars, Old Gravel Greg

Ruthie the Rookie's first taste of our gravel

The group regrouping at the top of the first gravel climb

The Hog Farm, no slaughter house auctions today

The green jersey winner and his crutches (gears)

Jeffy descending to the Hog Farm

Mean to the Joe smiling on his Surly? Better double check that contract Mr. MootoX pilot.

The Duke

climbing back out to Fly

more gRavel gRovelin gRant (this is the first time his MootoX has seen dirt)

Close to 50 miles into the ride, the group was feeling the effects of the long climbs and constant rollers, plus all the stupid sprints, and we picked up the pace a bit knowing the long descent to Fly store was only moments away. Just the infamous (now paved but still amazingly difficult) wall climb standing between us and filling our empty bellies.

Old Man Rocks: Jeffy refueling in his old man rocker

Rednecks refueling

gRant addressing the group but no one was listening

The Great Fondoadie trying to keep warm

My snack: chocolate milk and Wilson's sliced turkey with hot sause. Not quite pizza but damn still hits the spot.

The famous Fly stop

We cut the North loop off and opted to time trial back Leiper's creek road as a few of us had time constraints and others were just plain ready to be done. Pretty much how a ride should end.

I b-lined it for home to clean up and prepare for the arrival of Papa Ted and 2 L's. They were coming through on their way to the Gulf for their anniversary/fall trip. As I stepped out of the shower I got the call that they were passing through Clarksville (complete with The Monkey's reference) and would be stopping at the hotel first. I told H. to stop playing in the poop (she was prepping the flower beds) and to get cleaned up.

Next thing I know I hear the dogs barking and get handed a bottle of champagne. Instructed that it was ready to be opened as it "was cold already". Cork popped, cheese sliced, and crackers Happy Hour at the Hoffman's was in full swing.


After some Monkey time and catching up, we were off to Ri'chard's Cafe, home of live music and dead crawfish. This is one of my 3 favorite restaurants in the area and catching the scene on a cool fall Saturday night would provide tons of fun and atmosphere to entertain the folks. Not too mention some kick ass cajun food and killer deserts.


We lucked out and caught a great night of music. Mississippi Millie and the Wild Animal Band performed some amazing delta blues and bluesy-surf music for the night. Tiger Gagan, the guitarist really entertained and dad and I both got into the act by playing some guitar with him.

Tiger jamming on the bar

Papa Ted and 2 L

Tiger floor slidin'

Finishing off with the boot slide

All in all a great day. I even found another dream home contender, though H. is questioning the feasibility of it meeting the "functional roof" clause.