
Edit:
Since much of the past week's posts have showcased Clay's little ass, I figured it only fair to let the world see his big Willie too. Say "Sa-loooo" to Clay's Willie.
I am afraid of many things. The dark, tight places, gumdrops, the color blueish green and dogs with no tails are just a few. I am also afraid of the declining morals in the world and that the future of all man kind is dependent on the dumbasses I currently work with in my high school. Im also afraid that if I say something stupid or oddly funny it will end up as my new nick name. |
No, but once in 8th grade, I had to do an extesive project which involved planning a trip to Anchorage Alaska. I had to cut pictures alaskan landscpapes, and cloths you could wear in alaska out of magazines. I also had to give a long history of the "folly" involved in purchasing Alaska. Turns out it may have been a good move after all...Thanks Oil reserves!! So I guess it feels like I have been to Alaska, but never really been there. I also watched the movie "insomnia" with Al Pacino and Robin Williams. The movie wasnt that great, but the cinematography was beautiful and made me feel like I was actually there. |
I think so, but that seems a bit personal. I once new a guy who said he folded his toilet paper to wipe. That seems inefficient to me as I am a wadder. |
Football or any high level cock fight. Gotta love a pissed off chicken. |
Arm wrestle Sylvester Stalone. |
Light brown and all forehead. |
I heard Thad was born on a Pirate Ship, but thats just what I heard |
We got to the lot around 6:30 PM Friday and set up camp. It was dark and quiet with a grater in the lot. Almost looked as if there wasn't going to be a race. About an hour later the fellas started showing up and the fire, tunes and brews flowed. Philip is a crazy atv driving with a chain-saw mofo. He and Bill cleared 20 trees between 10 PM and Midnight. They'd had 60-mph winds the night before and the NWGA Sorba crew really had to put in the effort to clear the trail. Thanks guys, the trail was perfect. About 9:30 I got Texas Tall Wilkins to drive me for a pizza run. 30 minutes later we're back with 6 pizzas and Rachel the time girl, who was sober when I'd left, was lit. Don't know who flipped the switch, but she wasn't like that when we left. Luckily her hubby was there and guided her towards the car for home, though she stopped and said "I think I can hold one" referring to the pizza and I handed her a slice to go and advice of "drink 2 glasses of water before you go to bed". Night night Rachel. If you make the snake and stay in a hotel, swing by the start lot, the party rages till early morning. Plus you don’t want to miss the drunk redneck with the leaf blower smelting iron. Maybe next time the grater obstacle course race will go down (my money's still on gRant, sorry Philip).
27 degrees in the morning but the sun is creeping up in the sky and the meaty urologists promise a high of 61. But at the moment, it's freezing. Hennessey and SORBA Walt made a run into town for some grub and $12 coffee (8 cups). The coffee was a welcomed hand warmer. Sexpot Jeanie was there with her big orange box so we had hopes of avoiding the death bus. We set about gearing up and loaded the bikes onto the trailers. Quick rider meeting and we stuffed into the box. How many men can Jeanie hold in her big orange box? 6. The ride wasn’t nearly as deadly but the toxic fumes from the flex-all that Grant gave me to rub on my shoulder probably took some years off of folks lives.
Hennessey ripped by down the gravel road while 8-ball and I kept it under control. Gravel falls hurt. Up the pine needle climb then ripped down the first rocky descent. I pinged the front wheel off a rock at full tilt and felt it hit the rim. Damn, hope I didn't pinch. I slowed a bit to make sure the tire wasn't going flat and gonna roll off, but it was holding air and I picked the pace back up. We hit the old forest road section and ripped it. I was feeling great on the downhills. The mud was so slick instead of carving the turns it was more like mud surfing a ski bike. Up the rolling single track and up the peanut buttery wet clay climb, off and walking as it was slick and deep and backed up with others hiking. 8-ball got ahead of me there as I tried to dig out some apricots and drink some fluids. He was out of sight and on a mission; Hennessey being long gone off the front. My shoulder started to falter when standing to climb and I ended up dropping it when I stood, which was straining my lower back pretty hard. I had the legs and a good pace, but I looked like Quasimodo whenever I stood up, and each climb the shoulder was hurting more and more as was my lower right back muscle.
I sucked it up and picked up the pace and came up on 8-ball who was stopped fiddling with his head set; New Rig and its stupid integrated headset. I stopped to make sure he was good, he was, and we rolled on. He gapped me on a climb and I just settled in and started debating my plan. I didn't want to bail but I also didn't want to lose another week or more of riding due to injury. The inner battle raged and I decided I was going the distance. The next long climb and I was straining to stand. OK, maybe I'll rethink this bail out. I hit the long water bar jump descent to the halfway point, having fun, smiling, but done for the day. (photo credit: gRant Castle)
Hennessey was in the can, 8-ball was messing with his head set again, and Sexpot Jeanie was ready with the beer. I tightened 8-balls head set, reset the stem, tightened his loose rear wheel (which is what I think he was feeling 'clicking') and he set off up the hill. Hennessey followed and I sat with the pups and Jeanie and waited for the rest of the crew to roll through. Everyone came through covered in mud and in varying states of discomfort, but all smiling and having a good time.
8-ball rocked it in just over 4 hours, just over by 48 seconds. Proud of the boy. His skills are growing. Charging Rhino no more. Hennessey the birthday boy also came just shy of the elusive sub 4 hour mark despite a valiant effort. Old Greg rallied and pulled out a good ride, as did Adam who even got a bowl of chili this time. Scott the monster rocked it single and rigid for the first time after only having the bike for a month. gRant had a good ride for his first time, he didn't meet his goal of 5 hours, but he left with a healthy new outlook on mtb racing. That's a rare thing. I got it from the Snake 3 years ago when T.roy and first road it, again at Leadville in '05, at ORAMM in '05, Swank this year, and the FireWater 50. That ass-kicking, eye-opening, new experience. I crave it and it drives me to continue finding these epic races, but the more hooked you get the fewer times you can repeat that freshness. I can't wait to watch gRant's second attempt.
We spread our Ambassadors of Fun around (multiple cases of
See ya there.
Sunday was a recovery spin with the wupples. Muscles still aching from Saturday but it felt good to get out and the pups were having a grand time. The river is up really high, which is a nice thing giving how low it was all last year. The rock island is all but submerged. The high winds that came through did little damage to the trails on the farm and the pups and I were able to get a good run in.