Can I Borrow a Cooper?

WARNING (Airsaggo and krs1): The following images are disturbing (for you clean freaks) and could cause sweating, convulsions, facial ticks, and uncontrolled urges to run home and clean your bikes. View at your own risk. You've been warned.

Snaps of Black Death in battle scar mode. That pinched tube will be patched and repacked into the pack of doom. Or as Jeffy likes to refer to it as my "pouch". Please refer to it by it's proper name though, the Fanny Pack of Doom!

Hating backpacks, camelbaks, and even disliking the wingnut, the Fanny Pack of Doom allows me to carry a full size 8mm allen, park multitool, 3 tubes, 3 co2, Crank Bros pump, extra chain links, power links, zip ties, tire levers, patch kit and still have room for luxury items. I don't have to fiddle with trying to crawl out of it when wet/sweaty/muddy to access items, it can be spun to the side or front when working on the bike making it easy to get to things and put things back, it doesn't rub holes in my shorts, it can be tightened to act as a hernia belt (talk with your doctor to determine whether or not you are healthy enough for a faux hernia belt), and most importantly the weight doesn't raise my center of gravity, or get in my way. (wow, such impassioned prolific prose about a fanny pack, defensive much Thad?)

Combine the Fanny Pack of Doom with my Epic Designs frame bag and you've got the basis for a solid ultra-endurance set up. Kind of the bike version of the old school station wagon before the rear facing 3rd row seats. Fake or real wood paneling optional. Though this would be my pick.


I knocked off the dirt with my pit kit brush (a favorite and much used gift from the EMIL 2 xmas's ago), hand washed with warm water and dish detergent, then a coating of LUST. Not quite what I'd refer to as 'pulling a Cooper', but it meets my clean bike criteria. For one, my bike sat covered in filth for 3 days, Cooper'd never last that long with a dirty bike. Secondly, I don't have one of those magnifying bendy pixar lamp thingies nor the hepa filtered, O.R. sterile operating environment complete with bike autoclave to burn off all contaminants.

I prefer to just knock the dirt off and go over the frame for cracks/new rust then focus on the drive train, which is the one area I'm probably more Cooper than Cooper and more Keith than krs1. Although I'd never move someone else's seatpost height to prevent their saddle from touching my bars/brake lever/imaginary no fly buffer space surrounding the bike, there are some (cough *Keith* cough) people out there who might.


Even my 'clean' pics bother you don't they Coop? That line of dirt around the headset, the dirt on the brake adapter, the scratches in the finish? Pleasant dreams.